Have you ever sat still for a moment, maybe at home, and felt a sudden tidal wave of worry and anxiety bear upon you? And this tidal wave, you realize, isn’t just now hitting you, but instead has been chipping away at you like the waves on a coastal cliff. This was me a month ago. A few weeks ago. A few days ago. Tonight. Feeling these waves of emotions about all kinds of things in my life… I’m about to be 30, and life just isn’t how I expected it to be. I mean, I enjoy my life and my choices, but sometimes things are out of our control, and this is what’s had me thinking.
It’s funny how I know exactly what I’m supposed to be doing in a season of trials or waiting, and yet- I haven’t done it. I haven’t been down on my knees praying to God, or fasting and praying, reading my Bible, etc. I guess I’ve let myself try to ignore all of these facts and just keep on keeping on as they say. But as I neglected my duties as a Christian, as God’s child, I saw the contrary winds in my life, how huge the waves were getting and became afraid. And in the dusk I heard the Lord trying to say to me, “Be of good cheer. Be not afraid. It is I.” Despite the roaring winds and waves, I have felt the Lord trying to reassure me that He’s right there with me and to come to Him.
Last night we had a church service and welcomed some visitors passing through on their way to Atlanta. And those brothers who stood to their feet and talked about living for the Lord inspired me. It was like they were bidding me to come to the Lord, to do what I was called for, which is live for Jesus. God used those men to help me in my time of trouble. And last night I felt my soul walking on the waters, ignoring those winds around me.
And yet, just before I started writing this post I got a blast of contrary wind in my face, felt my soul stumble, began to look around at all the trouble brewing again and began to sink into despair. How many times do we fret because we take our eyes off of Jesus? How many sorrows could we have avoided if we had just kept our hands in His? How many heartaches could we have bypassed if we had just listened to His still, small voice instead?
In Matthew 7:7-8, Jesus says, “Ask, and it shall be given you….: For every one that asketh receiveth…” (shortened). So tonight, my cry is that the Lord save me. Save me from myself- from the pointless worries, anxieties, concerns that I lay on myself. Save me from feeling hopeless. Save me from frustration in waiting. Lord, save me. And do you know the best part of all of this? I have faith that my Jesus will immediately stretch forth His hand like He did for Peter, pull me from the waters and place me safely back in the boat with Him.
I encourage you, readers, to call upon the name of the Lord- not just in adversity but in joyous times as well. Walk beside Him always, and you’ll never notice yourself sinking back into the waves from whence He pulled you. And as for me? Tonight, I am going to remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:34, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” I am going to let tomorrow rest with tomorrow, and tonight I’m going to rest in Jesus’s arms.