I’ve been a “mama” for a whole year now… WHAT!? I can’t believe it! And yet it seems so normal. It’s a strange sensation, let me tell yah- dreaming of being a mother for so long, and now that I’m a year in it just seems like what I’ve always been doing. I can’t really remember what life was like before my precious little boy! But I can tell you that I’ve learned a lot this past year. LOTS of what not to dos and what to dos.
As my sweet little boy lies asleep, safe and warm in his crib, I’m filled with contentment at what life has brought me. Now don’t get me wrong! My house is a TOTAL disaster right now. I’m over tired because my AHDH mind never shuts off so I can fall asleep quickly. I was staying up to spend time with my husband who just went to sleep, and now I’m working on this post because it’s on my mental to-do list. And people, that list is a mile long and counting.
But yes, contentment. Content that this is where God has placed me during this season of life. Content that we have one healthy, beautiful, rambunctious little boy. Content that while my house isn’t the most ideal place to live, we’ve made it into a home. Content that while I often fail my expectations of being a great mom, I know that my little boy thinks the world of me and doesn’t notice those failures like I do.
So all you first time mamas and the mamas who’s on their 2nd or 3rd or 4th rodeo (and so on), let me try to encourage you on what I’ve learned about being a mommy. It certainly isn’t for the faint of heart, but it’s worth every ounce you put into it.
Before I get to my list, the other day my son was teething really bad and started to run a low grade fever. Apparently I overthink everything and I immediately began to wonder if he was getting sick (some other children he was around days prior were sick). He was fussy, clingy, and didn’t want anything but his bottle (he was a few days shy of turning 1). So after trying to get him to eat solids and even a food pouch and to play a little, I did what I thought was best for him:
I turned on Moana, gave him Tylenol and his bottle, and sat him in his little recliner.
I sat in my own recliner and watched over him, fretting if what I did was right, and if not what else should I do. Not that anyone would judge me, but I was worrying about it all the same. I had called my mom mainly for moral support and she gave it. So I sat there, wondering if taking a day (or hours in the day) to just relax and watch a movie was the right thing to do when I had a long overdue epiphany. And do you know it has changed my perspective on being a mama. Because you know? Sometimes being a mom doesn’t look like it does in the movies. Sometimes being a mom doesn’t look like how I think it should. Sometimes being a mom for your child looks completely opposite of someone else with theirs. And honestly? That’s what makes such an incredible thing- motherhood. It’s why we have a village to help raise our children. Because what works for us might work for someone else and vice versa.
So these are some truths that I’ve found in my motherhood journey in just a year. It’s not all of them by any means, but it’s enough to where I think you’ll get the point. Many of these I already knew, and some of these I never stopped to think about, and MOST are contradictions. But no matter what, being a mama has grown my heart to 10 times its size and has fulfilled my purpose in this earth.
Sometimes being a mommy is:
- Sitting in a chair, holding your sick baby watching a movie.
- Singing and dancing just to make your baby laugh.
- Slaving away in the kitchen to prepare healthy foods, only for your baby to push the food away and refuse to eat it, so you cave and give him his bottle.
- Getting the household chores done while he sleeps.
- Getting nothing done while he sleeps.
- Taking a nap with your baby.
- Going out for a walk.
- Staying inside to play games.
- Showing your baby all of the cool electronic toys that light up and play music at the touch of a button.
- Showing your baby all of the cool things to touch and play with on his activity cube that’s made of painted wood.
Sometimes being a mommy is….
- Laughing at your baby for being so energetic as you change his diaper.
- Getting frustrated at your baby for being so energetic as you change his diaper.
- Resting on the bathroom floor at the end of the day as he entertains himself in the bath.
- Getting up early and tackling the day.
- Sleeping in, drinking coffee, and staying in pajamas all day.
- Changing diaper after diaper after diaper.
- Running errands and going to dr. appointments.
- Catching your baby smiling at you throughout the day.
- Smiling at your baby randomly throughout the day.
- Bragging about how amazing your baby is to everyone.
Sometimes being a mommy is…
- Whispering to your son all of his positive traits and the ones that make you proud.
- Getting so excited when he takes more than one step.
- Crying silently because he’s growing up so fast.
- Being dressed to the 9’s and then poop or throw up ruins your outfit.
- Wearing the same outfit you wore yesterday because it’s clean and comfy.
- No “me” time. At all. Ever.
- Wondering what to do while your baby is sleeping because normally you’re being his everything.
- Feeling neglected when your baby wants to fall asleep on his own rather than be rocked.
- Thinking of how he’s only a baby for so long, and sooner than later he’ll be on his own in the world.
- Feeling blessed that God gave you this perfect little person to take care of.
Sometimes being a mommy is…
- Feeling overwhelmed or that you could be doing everything so much better.
- Trying to use the bathroom but the baby follows you in there.
- Feeding your baby with a spoon so he doesn’t get as dirty.
- Giving your baby the spoon so he can learn how to use it.
- Being overcome with joy when you see him smiling at you first thing in the morning.
- Comparing all his many facial expressions to yours and your husband’s.
- Laughing at your baby because he’s either done something intentional or unintentional and you just can’t help yourself.
- Changing how you eat to set a good example for your baby.
- Seeing that he wants to look at a book so you stop what you’re doing, put him in your lap and read the book together and others as long as his attention holds.
I could go on and on because every day looks different than the one before. And it’s such an adventure! So mamas… you’ve got this. You’re doing amazing things and don’t forget that! Realize that every day isn’t going to be perfect, nor will they look very similar sometimes, but that’s OK.